Change the framing

Self image serves as a point of comfort for us since it already establishes what we are and keeps us from venturing into the uncomfortable. For instance, a timid person want to get better at socializing and communicating with people. However; they think of themselves as anxious and introverted which leads to their endeavors, words & body language being timid as well.
They may even wonder why even do the act, when they can stay safe in their comfort zone. "Why talk to a stranger, why network with this person, why do this presentation...".

These are some thoughts that may occur to this person because of a distorted self image.

The way how this person can change the fundamental framing of how they see themselves is through action & time. Action as in do the scary act instead of trying to rationalize it for a consistent period so that the subconscious dialogue changes too. Tangible facts are always the most powerful in changing our self image since they represent reality. Reminding oneself of past achieved goals can totally switch our self perception.

An effective way to change your self image is through habits.

If someone with social anxiety for instance, sets the goal of talking to a stranger for a week.

After that week, they will realize that talking to people isn't really that scary, but it's the idea that's built around it.

This realization opens so many doors. When you think about it, we are infinite. We can be anything we want. It's what we do that makes us who we are and not the opposite. We limit ourselves so much without realizing it.However, Being conscious of this, and spotting the limitations in our daily life is a golden key for limitless growth.

Ideal self

What is the ideal self ?

The ideal self refers to an individual's conception of the best version of themselves. It is a subjective and aspirational concept that encompasses personal goals, values, and virtues. Achieving the ideal self often involves self-improvement, personal development, and alignment with one's core beliefs. This idealized image serves as a guiding vision for individuals as they navigate life's challenges, make decisions, and strive for a sense of fulfillment and authenticity.

First, figure out what habits and what kind of mindset would get you closer to this ideal version of yourself.

As you continuously stick to these new habits and affirmations. Through time, your subconscious mind will fall in line and this new way of existing will start feeling less uncomfortable. You are going to notice that there is less inner resistance and everything feel second nature to you.

Once you adopt habits of the ideal you into your life for a consistent period, You're going to realize that you are now doing all these new habits and carving a character that fits your identity. This will unleash a spark in your confidence and a transformation to your inner monologue, that ends up affecting your personality and self image. This inner change will push the outer reality to follow as they are interconnected.

"Re-create yourselves: and let this be your best creation.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Awareness is key

What is self awareness ?

internal self awareness involves how well we understand our own values, passions, and goals, and how these align with our surroundings. It also includes being aware of our reactions, thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses. Now, when people have a good grasp of internal self awareness, they tend to feel more satisfied in their jobs and relationships. They also seem to have better control over their personal and social lives, leading to increased happiness. Interestingly, those with higher internal self-awareness also show lower levels of anxiety, stress, and depression. It's like saying, knowing yourself better seems to bring more positives and fewer negatives in various aspects of life.

When you are in this process of trying to shift into this new person, your old self is going to subconsciously come back up. It's going to use ego-defense mechanisms such as distraction, denial, rationalization, victim mindset, etc. All these things might pop up in the process.

The magic remedy for these ego-defense mechanisms is awareness. Awareness is a game changer when it comes to bettering yourself and changing the framing of self perception and self image.

Bringing awareness to these ego-defense mechanisms, is one the most effective ways to nullify these habits that maintain your usual self image. For example, let's say you are a people pleaser and you want to get rid of this habit because it stops you from attracting the things you want in life.

To change this, you have to bring consciousness into this act. For instance, if you are in a social situation and you notice that something you said or did wasn't genuine but for the goal of trying to please someone. Being aware of the situation do wonders in helping you nullify it since with enough introspection, you are going to get closer to the source of the issue.

What I just mentioned is an example of cultivating awareness so that you can begin your journey of self therapy

There is a beautiful quote about the power of awareness by Carl jung, who is a famous psychologist who's known for his expertise in analytical psychology.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl Jung